I'm just so desperate now. This feeling of failure seems to envelope everything in my life. I've tried so hard to put all those things aside and continue with my life pretending that I can take it but it seems I was only making a fool of myself. It is rather hard to live where you are not wanted, it is rather hard to be a disappointment to your parents.
And yesterday's events make me rethink my concept of friendship and I come to the same conclusion over and over again. But it is something that I'm no interested in sharing. It is for me and only me. All I can say is that it's so hard for me to let go of things and this hurts me. But I've tried to be less apprehensive and I've failed numerous times.
Another thing is I realize today that Sunday's are becoming unbearable. They feel like static events of my life, a recap of last week and the hopes and expectations of the next one. But those resumes become quite repetitive and sad, and the future days promise less and less each time.
Reading this post I realize why I didn't want to start a blog. I hate to read my laments which have been practically the same since I started writing years ago. It feels like a waste of time BUT I find myself coming back to this space again. I'm not sure why. I guess I feel listened to. How ironic.
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1 comments:
You 'are' listened to, and... don't forget to look around you when the going gets tough. Better days will come.
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